Single foodie, wino, beer snob & lover of all things bad that help us lose our inhibitions.

 

Raiders of the Heavy Seas Loose Cannon

Sunday.

Football Sunday.

Started with so much hope & promise for me… an avid die hard Oakland Raiders fan (long suffering albeit).  I dressed up, planned on yelling obscenities at refs and the Colts and screaming for my team to pull out a win and had the girls showing off as boobalicious as a first game dictates:

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My good friend Mike invited me to watch the Sunday games with him  (in hindsight perhaps took pity on me) at the Beach House South http://www.beachhousebar.us/ which now has the NFL package and shows every game every Sunday. I was super ecstatic when the manager (or guy in charge of the controls anyway)  asked what game I wanted to see and then put it on the TV directly in front of me.  SCORE ! (something my team could have done more of but I digress).

So the Beach House only has one IPA on draft and it is Heavy Seas Loose Cannon.  Naturally, being an IPA this is my beer of choice for the day:

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Can you see the hope and enthusiasm in my eyes for my team at the start of the game????  I was not sweating Andrew Luck - not at all - not one stinking bit…. ok maybe just a little.  The people you kinda see next to me are Saints fans and I was rooting for Matt Ryan and the Falcons in that game so for a long time they didn’t like me.  Then the tide turned when the Saints started winning and they actually were rooting for the Raiders with me by the 4th quarter (once their win was assured of course).  Side note:  They were drinking buckets of Miller Lite — uhhhhh GROSS, I don’t care if they are on special by the bucket on Sundays.  Life’s too short to drink shitty beer. 

On to good beer:  Heavy Seas beers are brewed by Clipper City Brewing out of Baltimore Maryland.  Loose Cannon is considered their flagship beer and is kinda a big deal and is even nicknamed Hop3 (or Hop Cubed if you will).  That’s because there are 3 hops used - Simcoe, Palisade and Centennial and 3 pounds of hops per barrel - plus it is hopped 3 ways: in the kettle, in the hopback as well as dry hopped,  At 7.25% ABV it packs a good punch to sobriety as well.  To my palate it is a decent IPA - not super exciting, yet not dull either and since it’s the best thing on draft at South Beach House I’m just thankful I don’t have to drink Sam Adams Oktoberfest or Legend Brown to get my fix of craft beer.

So football kickoffs ensue and I’m jazzed and excited about my team’s performance — kudos to Terrell Pryor for bringing dignity back to the #2 Raiders jersey.  Also throwing a shout out to Charles Woodson — great to have you back - and now I can wear my #24 Jerseys again!! 

So I get this grand idea that every time the Raiders score my friend Mike and I should do a shot.  The shot that was suggested by super cute bartender Savannah is called “Christine’s wonton Vajayjay” (don’t ask.. or actually ask Christine next time you go ha ha ha) it’s Calico Jack Cherry Rum, OJ, Sour Mix and a splash of grenadine.  Pretty damn good - especially when the Raiders score some points!

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Mike looks super excited only because I jabbed him in the ribs and threatened to hit him a bit lower if he didn’t look ecstatic that my team was scoring.  All the while he’s wearing a UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs t-shirt.

 OHHHHHHHHHHHH but I do have to mention the very best thing about South Beach House —- the TOTS!!!!!!!!  Holy mother of deep fried potatoes are they awesome!  They are crunchy deliciousness on the outside and barely mushy inside.  B.E.S.T. T.O.T.S. E.V.E.R

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Makes me want some just uploading that picture!!!

So during the course of the game I picked up a couple of new friends, as I tend to do, and they really respect my team a bit more after talking to me (or maybe that part is in my head because I’m buzzed on Loose Cannon).  But they did agree to pose with me (yes, they were bribed with the shots in their hands but hey - I’m a Raiders fan I take support wherever and however I can get it):

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Sadly though, today was not the Raiders/our “Any Given Sunday”.  Though I do have to say that even after a loss by my team, which came down to the last heart wrenching stressful minute of the game -  I personally did not turn into a Loose Cannon.  The potential was there though and I do credit the Hop Cubed IPA with contributing to my ability to have a great time during and after the game. 

And I’m still hopeful my team will be better than last year… and I’m still smiling. So glad that football’s back!  JUST WIN BABY !

You want to go to here - Estilo.

So there’s this new place in town called Estilo (check them out online here http://www.estilorichmond.com/ and if you are as social-media savvy as you should be - follow them on twitter @estilorichmond).

This restaurant is basically the hot young ethnic cousin of a restaurant I already love & send people to routinely (which means my friends and random strangers asking for recommendations as well as men I meet from online).  Estilo is the Peruvian relative to Toast @toastrva http://toastrva.com and holy bejesus I’m so thankful I don’t need a passport to go eat there because aint nobody got time to wait for tasty cocktails & food this freakin good!

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But, since I write specifically about drinks & drinking them… let’s get down to business.  The GM of this restaurant is named Dominic - which to me is a name that evokes sensuality & sexiness even before you ever meet the guy (who actually DOES live up to the moniker-hype). His signature cocktail pictured above is called “Cuaker con Bourbon” and is an adult take on a child’s drink from Ecuador.  The childrens version is a healthy popular drink made from Oatmeal.  Estilo’s version is definitely more adult oriented, though it does start out with Cuaker (a mixture of oats, pineapple and cinnamon).  Then they add Elijah Craig - which is a Bourbon named after the person dubiously credited with inventing “whiskey bourbon”. I say dubiously, but I mean, I read it online so it must be true, right?

This cocktail was made for me by a super personable and enjoyable bartender named Phil who has a British accent (and who I will forever name-associate with Phil Collins even though THIS Phil is not bald or dumpy).  So after my third Cuaker con Bourbon I decided to spread the goodness & share, as this is the point in the night where “Girls Wednesday Happy Hour” turns into Kristy being on a mission to get everyone as “Awesome” as she is.  It’s coincidentally when I start talking in third person too.  So (not so) surprisingly my faithful-connoisseur-of-fantastic-Wednesday-cocktails Joanna happened to (LUCKILY for her) be sitting next to me:

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Her exact words after the first sip (pictured above) were: wow - that’s really good —- lets take another picture.

OK - so 4 “posing/drinking” pictures later my drink is half gone and now she’s just being greedy because she wanted more sips of this delish cocktail…. I call it a WRAP on pictures. This picture I posted above is the first one we took out of four (with 2 different photogs because the first guy who was a bar patron couldn’t figure it out).  Joanna’s eyes look very devious already in this picture - and to me kind of sexy - so maybe that’s Dominics secret.  People that drink his signature drink become sexpots & devilish & sensual… or more so than normal anyway. So really Dominic & Estilo are doing #RVA a favor by sharing this delicious drink with us.  This is the perfect sexy drink - whether married or just on a date (especially first dates from online guys —- ha ha ha). Though Joanna’s a sexy woman anyway and didn’t need help.

We did at some point eat a smorgasbord of rotisserie chicken, black beans and rice, a plethora of salsas and what I call “Mexican street corn” and the food was impressive in that the flavors were complex yet the food was clean and simple.  Just delish.  In fact I’d go so far as to say FUKINUBER-delish, and I’m a picky bitch.  Full disclosure, I came back less than a week later to eat more of their food and was BLOWN AWAY by the shredded beef dish as well.  On that second visit is when I realized the most fantastic Ariel-who-is-not-a-mermaid I’ve ever met works here as a bartender too!  She has the most fantastic hair & skin around too (Just Sayin’).  You will know her when you see her.

So in closing Estilo literally translates into “style” and all I have to say is that the style here is hip, sexy, clean and all around fantastic - without a trace of snobbery or hipster-ness that usually turns me off…. And if I got my choice of places to be “sensual and sexy” right now in Richmond I’d share space with Dominic, Phil and Ariel on a date any night of the week. Though beware - I believe those 3 may all be spoken for.

Kuddos to Jess & Josh Bufford. Home run.  Out of the gate.  Touchdown.  And every other lame sport reference I cannot evoke right now due to the amount of Cuaker con Bourbon drinks I have imbibed — which are truly making me only think about sex… dammit I need to focus!

Pro Football + Sine’s Irish “Trashcan” drink

So full disclosure - I am a lifelong, fairly passionate hardcore Oakland Raiders fan.  Given my age, when the Redskins are brought up, my thoughts immediately go to the 1984 season Superbowl.   For numerous reasons:

It’s my first real “football memory” of any importance and my whole family shared it.  It’s also the day I found out the “delivered in 30 minutes or less” rule from Domino’s didn’t apply to special occasions.  It’s the last time my beloved Raiders won a Superbowl (and we’ve only been to one since then). 

I also remember calling the opposing team Washington DEADSKINS. 

So when my girlfriend we call Candyface and I went out on a recent random night to Sine Irish Pub ( http://www.sineirishpub.com/richmond_home )  I was not overly excited and blown away by the fact that there were Redskins players having beverages there as well.   In fact, I was a little embarrassed on behalf of the RVA for the younger crowd who surrounded the 3 players and basically cock-blocked any other fans who may have wanted just an autograph.  They did this for MORE THAN AN HOUR.  Seriously? Keep it moving people, nobody’s hooking up.   

However, once I started drinking this “Irish Trashcan” drink the fun-pushers AKA bartenders recommended as being a “signature” cocktail of Sine my attitude was adjusted on a few levels.  Here is the drink in all its glory:

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Well, after 2 of those I decided Candyface & I needed to do shooters of this amazeballs drink with the big NFL players.  Being polite like I am, I busted through the crowd of 22 year old fans and asked them if they would like to share a shooter with us.  The response? “We would be delighted to”.  Here’s Sine’s idea of 5 Irish Trashcan shooters:

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Yes kids, those are pint glasses.  And a photo bomb by the Mustard.

Normally I know I break down the ingredients of the drinks I write about and what not… but quite simply put — after 2 and a half of these I really have no idea what they told me it was — except there is clearly Red Bull in it..  I could sell out and look up the recipe online but that wouldn’t be genuine.  So lets just go with Hey RVA - check out this quite tasty & potent drink & maybe find out what’s in it for me — but remember to text or write it down before you finish the first one.  

 And also….. Go Redskins.  Your players were gentlemen and I am (partly) a fan now.

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 @sineirishpubric @redskins @cjrussell3

Rappahannock Restaurant ~ El General Cocktail

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I was delighted to go to Rappahannock Restaurant this past Friday evening! Delighted for a few different reasons - a) I spent excellent 1-on-1 time with a man I adore and covet personal time with  b) I gave raw oysters one last chance hoping the “third time’s a charm” rule applies and I would love or at least like them, AND I DID  c) I have been wanting to try this restaurant since they opened based on the recommendation of other restaurant owners and d) I got to try the El General Cocktail. 

The origins of this drink are fascinating.  There was a general in some war that liked his cocktail made with fresh oranges or juice or peel or something but they couldn’t because of the war so he used orange marmalade instead… it’s something along those lines anyway. Honestly I was more into watching the bartender, err Mixologist make the drink than listening while he was explaining the history to me (even though I asked him for it).

The foundation of the El General is Milagro Reposado Tequila from Jalisco, which is aged in American oak barrels for 6 months (reposados typically are aged 2 months).  Then you add Faraon Oloroso Sherry (which is a dry Spanish wine with a fancy schmancy name), the restaurant’s own marmalade - remember the history lesson -   and a fresh orange zest.

The erotic part of this drink is that before any liquid touches your glass, cinnamon sticks with shaved cacao on them are lit on fire on a plate and your upturned glass is set on them so that the smoke and heated air gently strokes subtle flavoring along the silky edges of…well, before it gets too sexy lets just say the essence of the smoked cinnamon-cacao is rooted in your glass.

I highly recommend every concept & thing I’ve written about here.  Explore new locations and restaurants and taste new food - hell, even re-taste food you thought you didn’t like, and learn about new cool drinks with people you enjoy, even if it’s just at this moment. There’s a line in a song that says “I don’t spend my time with anyone who doesn’t think I’m wonderful” and I just love it.

https://www.facebook.com/RappahannockRVA?directed_target_id=0

Blackberry & Basil & Tequila? Are you jokin’ me?

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A few weeks back (well ok, a few months-I’m a slow writer) my awesome girlfriend Kate was lamenting to me that the world needed more savory mixed drinks-I mean, what do we anti-sweet drinkers really have for cocktails? A Bloody Mary, a Dirty Martini (preferably with blue cheese stuffed olives, lets be real) and pretty much just other random boring old people drinks from when our great-grandparents were barely legal. Now please don’t get me wrong, while delicious when given the proper respect/preparation, old standards like a Manhattan or Negroni are wonderful.  But unless you are hip to NYC’s @amoryamargo or RVA’s own soon-to-come @RogueGentlemen these drinks aren’t on anyone’s radar I know (or at least anyone fun I drink with).

As a gal who would rather eat beef jerky (even a damn Slim-Jim) before a candy bar ~ don’t judge me, counter meat is the bomb ~ I was intrigued yet dubious when Andreas at Casa Del Barco (located at the bottom of 12th street on the Canal Walk @CasaDelBarcotold me his favorite “signature” drink on the menu was the Blackberry Basil Margarita. Immediately I poo-pooed it with “That sounds too sweet for me, but thanks for playing every bartenders favorite game “Tell-me-what-You-Think-I-want-to-drink”. 

OF NOTE HERE: My girlfriend Candyface was there being awesome with me that night & totally “crushing” on Andreas.  And because I’m by no means opposed to watching a cute guy run his mouth we hung on every word he said - while at the same time not buying what he was selling about the drink being the best margarita ever.

He assured me it was not too sweet, and that I would love it …. and oh my goodness!  He was right. I was surprised, and quite impressed as was Candyface who actually focused on the drink for a bit. We were so impressed that these tweets went out almost immediately:

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The drink itself is made with Sauza Blue Tequila, St. Germain, lemon juice & a blackberry/basil muddle the bar makes fresh everyday.  It is served in what can only be called a high ball glass - not sure if that’s for flipping the bird at those triangle shaped traditional margarita glasses (yeah, even the ones with cactus arms on the stem) or if it’s because you drink it much quicker and order another in lightning time.  Oh, did I say you???  I meant me.  I do that.   (click link below to read more…..)

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Tilt Your Head Back Then Finish The Cup!

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey….First things first: Saison is located at 23 W. Marshall Street, Richmond, VA 23220.  Their Facebook page is here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/SaisonRVA  and you can follow them on Twitter as well @saisonrva.   And in the interest of full disclosure I readily admit that one of the owners happens to be on my list of top 10 favorite people in the world.

Saison is one of the most engaging and eclectic new restaurants in #RVA and just recently began serving Sunday brunch #sundayfunday .  IF you are lucky enough to know  Jay Bayer, Adam Hall or Chris Elford personally then you know how passionate they are about the entire experience each patron has while dining in what is truly their dream/vision come to life. Then you also know that the focused seasonal menu is deliberate and carefully crafted (others might say limited - but those people probably order cottage cheese and tomato slices for brunch anyway and I, for one, am sick of boring food at brunches).  OK, OK, enough with the boring stuff.

There is a parking lot Saison leases about half a block from their front door on the left side of Marshall Street.  The trick here is to not already be tipsy when you drive to brunch because just when you think you are able to pull into the lot it’s actually about 25 feet farther (or maybe 50 or 100 I have no sense of distance even sober).

My group arrived pretty much together and sat at the “family/community table” which is the largest one in the restaurant and seats 8 comfortably.  There were only 6 of us to start anyway.  We couldn’t wait to get our hands on the menu and check out what the buzz was about for the “Brass Monkey” drink.  As we devoured the prayer card piece of paper with special brunch cocktails on one side and the dining choices on the other I heard someone at my table say ” I can’t decide, we should stay here until we all have 1 of each new cocktail”.  And I , of course, nodded my head in agreement - A little nagging thought popped into my head that maybe that wasn’t such a good idea…. But then it was squashed by the validity in saying “Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be super fun”…  And our #sundayfunday was underway!

I cannot even describe how tasty the mimosas were, hands down - best I’ve had in RVA…. then the whole “brass monkey” came into play  — which does involve Hurricane Malt Liquor/Beer —-    and suddenly…..

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This midwestern gal we were associated with started talkin’ in slang jive yo… even throwing out a “Hizzyyyy in the House”  and “don’t fuck wit me” etc….. Honestly, if I hadn’t been with her “crew” I woulda been skeered…. Except that she drank that Brass Monkey drink as it was meant to be in it’s paper cup holder and enjoyed every last drop!!!!!!  Which kinda *IS* the point of drinking at brunch after all, correct?????

So what if you cant order a fraternity/sorority shot at Saison, (Irish Car Bomb included).   So what if you can’t order a Coors or Michelob Light here?  So what if you just randomly found yourself here???? There is a @rvaBrunchBunch brunch on Cinco de Mayo at 11am @ Saison… RSVP on out Facebook page if you’d like to join!!!

All of these ‘so whats’ mean you were very close to missing out on a great piece of #RVA #RVAdine … and for this girl, I’m ok the longer it takes people to catch on to what they are missing — less wait for me ….
:-)

Pretty In Pink Saison : “Awareness Ferments Hope”

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03-18-2013   So I could go 1 of 3 ways with this beer/post/blog/entry.  First is self-effacing, as in “I have a connection to this beer/sad tale to follow”  blah blah blah.  Second is ”holy crap, this beer is one of my favorite Saisons EVER regardless of what it stands for” (and we all know I love Saisons). Or third the martyr card AKA “this beer is for a great cause - rah, rah, rah let’s support it” (which means pretty much if you don’t support it you’re an asshole).

So I ponder this because all 3 scenarios really DO apply and more importantly, they REALLY fit this beer.  This unique and refreshing tasty brew was brought together by 4 Virginia breweries:  **IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT IT WAS A FEMALE REPRESENTATIVE FROM EACH ONE**   Blue Jacket (Washington DC - Meghan Parisi), Lost Rhino (Ashburn, VA - Becky Jordan), Vintage 50 (Leesburg, VA - Kristi Griner) and Richmond native Hardywood Park’s Rachael Cardwell. 

Pretty In Pink is a hibiscus-pomegranate Saison.  It is a BEAUTIFUL pink color, and brewed from the finest malts, 2 different strains of hops and Ardennes Ale.  At only 5.8% ABV this beer is completely binge-drinker friendly, with proceeds going to breast cancer research - so why not?  I see no better reason to over indulge and enjoy a few bottles (if you can find them).

I personally came upon this spectacular brew a few weeks ago when some of my favorite people in this crazy world surprised me with a handsigned bottle on the very night I was celebrating the fact that sometimes cancer DOESN’T win - and this Pretty In Pink beer was so spot on perfect for that exact moment that I actually cried a little (and no, not because I was cut off - that happened much later and had nothing to do with …oh, nevermind).  I was very moved when I read the statements of love written on the bottle itself by beautiful wish-she-was-my-sister Lindsay, hot-boston-boy John and Wicked-Awesome-Lovely-founding-member-of-#babitches Jo Anne. KISMET indeed.  

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My favorite part of tasting this fantastic beer is the pomegranate aftertaste that adds a subtle bit of sour flavor.  While I did not taste the hibiscus, I’m pretty sure it’s the secret ingredient that takes this beer to SUPER HERO SAISON status in my book.   I have even seen many who claim to not like Saisons in general be converted because this is a  very likeable and palatable specialty beer.  It’s also a fun way to get boys to drink pink.

Pretty In Pink Saison is very limited.  I’m having a hard time hoarding them truthfully, so if you see them, snatch them up!  This beer deserves accolades and promotion far and wide, so spread the word.  In whatever way you can!

It is timely in my life as it brought together so many parts of my life - social consciousness, friendship, thoughtfulness & love. 

But in the end it’s all mostly love.

Raging Bitch - Flying Dog Brewery

02-21-13   haha OK.  So, in what can only be attributed to *kismet* I am drinking a Belgium style IPA called Raging Bitch a few hours after one of my twitter gals (twitch-bitches per se) tells me about an online dating site called OKCupid.  FAN-fuckin-tastic.  What better to do than set up a profile after a few drinks, amiright?

Lets start this scene out with Flying Dog Brewery’s description of this beer - it’s 8.3 ABV with 80 IBU and a caramel malt made with 3 different hops and El Diablo yeast.  All of these things equal out to a really under-produced tasty brew in my opinion.  The only peers to this beer in the same style even worth mentioning are Green Flash Le Freak and Clown Shoes Tramp Stamp.  And good luck finding the last one I just mentioned on draft anywhere in the #RVA.

But I am getting sidetracked.  So I was planning on watching trashy TV - Bachelor, Real Housewives, etc when I got home tonight - (for the love of god it is a Monday) - but somehow I ended up staying EXTRA long at the bar because of this Raging Bitch.  Honestly, she just wouldn’t let me go - and you know how bitches are when they demand you hang out and drink more with them. #iamnotapartypooper

So I get home and decide to join this OKCupid site because OBVIOUSLY Raging Bitch has me completely full of myself and thoroughly convinced I’m going to find a couple Mr. Right-Nows on there. (editorial note - not looking for Mr. Right, I know where he is).  So I’m looking at these dumbass profile set up questions you have to answer and it’s like a sorority application merged with a career resume but supposed to be witty & clever & sexy.  I’ve only ever had to sell myself and skills to employers in general, never men exclusively before.  

Given the amount of Raging Bitch I’ve ingested at this point I’m left wondering if my answers to the basic profile questions everyone sees shouldn’t be changed once I come off of this Bitch-mood - and so I kinda did the next morning….

"I spend a lot of time thinking about" :  FIRST 12:15am ANSWER: Sex - specifically when I’m having it next.  Revised answer the next (sober) morning: where to get my next tattoo.

"I’m really good at" : First 12:15am ANSWER: Whatever the hell I decide to do.  Revised answer the next (sober) morning: making people feel comfortable talking to me and being the center of attention ha ha ha.

"6 things I couldn’t live without" : First 12:15am ANSWER: wine, beer, men, red vines, sex toys and cilantro (I know WTF, right?).  Revised answer the next (sober) morning: family, friends, my ipod, wine/beer, intimacy with another person and laughter.

Yeah - you read that right - laughter.  Uh Huh.  And I have a feeling that since I tamed the Raging Bitch on my profile this morning I may need deep wells of humor to navigate this online dating thing. 

It just may have been more honest with Raging Bitch at 12:15am.

Saison Dupont - Brasserie Dupont (bottled year round)

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     02-12-2013  First of all, I’m going to assume that a lot of you may not be familiar with my personal favorite style of beer – Saison (Say-Zahn).  The name itself is French for “season” and this beer style originates from the French speaking part of Belgium.  It is also commonly referred to as “Farmhouse Ale” and was typically brewed in winter months for consumption in the summer while harvesting crops.  Personally, I hate beer-bigotry and don’t discriminate – therefore I like to consume this beer in all 4 seasons.  #discriminateonlyagainstdomestics     

     The Saison Dupont (pictured) is readily available year round at local grocery stores and outlets ( @wholefoodsbeerpage @totalwinemidlo ) and you can also find it typically in the winter on tap at upscale Ale Houses all around #rva.  As a side note it’s a pretty damn sexy beer - having been named “Best Beer in the World” by Men’s Journal in July 2005. #upperechelon  #beerporn

     It is complex on your palate - flavorful in every part of your mouth and just a very refreshing drink.  It is not as filling as many other styles of beer (which may be why I tend to drink it quicker, over a longer period of time and have been known to leave my car in parking lots so that trustworthy taxi drivers - ahem *clearing throat* ahem - or maybe sometimes a man —- can take me home.  @chesterfieldtaxi #chrissymiller   

     Also of major note to the women out there: It does not make me have to pee nearly as much as other beers or make me burp.  Those are 2 very important things really – I mean who wants to have to get up every 30 minutes to use the bathroom (and get judged as a possible druggie by people who are probably drinking Coors or Miller Lite)?  Also, it really sucks when you are talking in an animated fashion (because come on, that’s the BEST way to tell a story no one really cares about) and have to try to stifle a burp by pushing it out through your nose so it’s quiet and hopefully no one notices.  BURNING EYES ANYONE? 

     Good news though if you are reading this and don’t quite take it to the extreme I do – or I mean that I have done before – uhhhhh rarely – maybe it happened a few times but – like I was celebrating or it was Thursday… or…. Whatever…   it’s worth noting that at 6.5% ABV this beer is quite easy to control your buzz with and not get too out of control.   

     Worth bragging about also is that if you get it on draft it’s served in a ‘fancy pants’ glass so you can feel like a princess when you are drinking it.  BONUS POINTS IF YOU ARE WEARING A TIARA WHILE ENJOYING A SAISON – and tweet a pic of that fabulousness shit to @drinkthisdothat.

     At the end of the day, it comes down to Saison Dupont being a great beer to get hammered on if you know you’re in it for more beers than you can count on one hand yet don’t want to get stupid sloppy and screw up your chances of an orgasm later.    

     P.S. - Also worth noting, I have never suffered a hangover from a strictly Saison beer induced wastedness.  That shit happens from shots.  And ain’t nobody got time for that.

Honkers.

   02-07-2013  This would not be the nickname of your childhood friend’s nose, nor a nickname for the over aggressive (L.A.) style drivers.  This “Honkers” is from Goose Island Beer Company and is classified as an “English Bitter” with only 4.3 ABV.  It is deliciously easy to drink on a hot day and not bitter at all.  Goose Island is a Chicago based brewery that has many fantastic beers they are sending down south these days (hello Naughty Goose).  Honkers will always hold a spot in my heart though and I order it WITHOUT FAIL whenever it is available on draft and here’s why:

      My first Honkers experience was at the 2012 Washington DC chili cook off in what was pretty much 120 degrees F - and Honkers was being served for free (and as much as you wanted, even 2 at a time) to VIP ticket holders.  <lets digress here a moment and just say that —-YES —- I am *THAT* girl who will pay $150 more for a ticket to a concert festival if it means free beer all day & private, nice port-a-johns. >  The other free beer choices were Bud Light, Shock Top, Michelob Ultra or Corona.  Ugh.  No contest Goose Island.

      Needless to say, I was really truly there for music… and I was in Honkers heaven an hour after we arrived.  At various points that fine Saturday in May that Goose Island beer brought me back from almost dehydrated/in a foul mood for arriving a little late to a semi-sober Dancing Queen who security threatened to kick off the VIP viewing stage numerous times during Airborne Toxic Events performance (I even at times pretended to be video taping so I could stand and dance)….. to a starving corn-dog craving bitch with no sympathy for my girlfriend who had balance issues and wore wedges to an outdoor concert festival (BAD IDEA) and then back again to a mellow, buzzed, content music lover who never wanted the concert to end.

      In fact, after 8 or so Honkers  (OK – honestly about a dozen) I decided if I carefully ripped off my VIP arm bracelet and gave it to the sister of a fellow VIP-er (who we had a blast connecting with over additional Honkers Beers) there would be no issue with her getting into our area….. well, she apparently had the foresight to be chewing gum and stuck my used, battered wrist band together with gum around her wrist & joined us for the best Cake & Incubus seats in the house.  The finale….  So, the gum thing was a little weird — but hey, she’s cute so it worked.

     I should state for the record that I went with 3 other phenomenal women who are dear friends.  All of us had our issues though. I attribute Honkers for allowing me to handle 1 early departure (the Shock Top Drinker, just saying), another girlfriend who got 2 dozen stitches in a knee (a Chardonnay drinker), a hippie who met a BDSM master and was almost convinced to be a slave (she drank anything anyone gave her) and then there’s me —- who was at times mad that the others  didn’t seem as into the music as I was, which only proved my point that they all needed MORE HONKERS. 

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I am on the left — gum girl is on the right!  ha ha….
#gooseisland  #dc101  #chilicookoff #kellyturrisi